Family Ties

Part of me wasn’t ready to say it out loud—I knew where it might lead, even if she didn’t—but the grown-up part knew that saying it wouldn’t change anything. Unless it did. I almost jumped when she laughed. “What?”

“You’re really nervous, aren’t you?” She laughed again, but with affection. “Mr. Big isn’t so big anymore.”

“Like when Rich caught us together.”

“Then I was pissed off,” I said. “Now I’m just scared. That I might lose you.”

“You’d’ve lost me already if I hadn’t figured out the rest.

hear you say it, though.”

“All right.” I took a deep breath. “Here goes… Yes, I want to have sex with you and Wren.”

I did too. Then I stated the obvious, “Not what you were expecting?”

“I… don’t know. You’re always preaching honesty, like the Church preaches chastity. I guess I didn’t expect…”

“Didn’t expect me to practice what I preach?”

“But not about the really important things.”

“No. Well… not really. I’ve told you all along that there are lots of things you don’t know about me.

“Like the nudist thing.”

“And the fact that you want to sleep with my best friend.”

“Right,” I said heavily. “There’s more to it than that, but… that’s the gist of it.”

“Yeah. But I don’t know if you’re ready.”

“Because I’m the one who knows what you don’t know.”

“How’m I supposed to know if you won’t tell me?”

“Fair enough. But… lemme see if I can explain it another way.

She nodded and fell silent as I thought about it.

“Maybe,” she admitted. “But I don’t give up easily.”

“True, but if you don’t have the ability, you simply don’t have it. You can

“Well, I’m a bit like Siobhan here. You trust her to teach you everything she knows, right?”

“But she has to do it in manageable pieces and wait till you’re ready for the next step. I’m doing the same. I’ll tell you everything… but a little at a time, and only when you’re ready.

“I’m not an idiot. Or a child.”

“No kidding. It scares me how fast you figure things out. But you aren’t me, either. A lot of this sex talk still makes you uncomfortable.”

I deliberately kept my mouth shut.

She took a deep breath and physically relaxed. “I still don’t like that you won’t tell me things, but I understand. I can’t learn everything at once.”

“Still… you’d be proud of me,” she said after a moment.

“Probably.