Suddenly it was Joe who felt the full impact of the loss, and he wasn't even sure why. Why now? Until then, he had protected himself so well.
“They're at Andy's this week,” Kate said apologetically about Stevie and Reed. “Maybe, if we don't throw things at each other, you could come by and see them another time.” He could hear in her voice that she was laughing at him.
“I'd like that,” he said happily. He felt young and foolish suddenly, and then reminded himself instantly of how dangerous she was. For a moment, he thought of sending her the papers by messenger after all.
But Kate continued to sound calm, because she was.
“How about five?” she asked.
“Five what?” He was panicking. He was afraid to see her again. What if she blamed him for everything that had gone wrong? What if she told him what a bastard he had been? What if she accused him of abandoning her? But there was none of that in Kate's voice as she laughed.
“Five o'clock, silly You sound a little distracted. Are you all right?”
“I'm fine.
And five o'clock will be fine. I won't stay long.
“I'll leave the door open,” she teased, “you don't even have to sit down.” She knew he was panicking, but not why. It never occurred to her that he might be nervous about seeing her. She loved him anyway. His vulnerability and fears only made him more lovable. She had learned so much. Her only regret was not being able to share it with him. She knew she would never get that chance, and doubted if, after that afternoon, she would ever see him again.
Once his quitclaim deed was signed, he had no reason to see her again.
“See you at five,” he said, sounding businesslike, and Kate smiled as she hung up the phone. She knew it was ridiculous to still love a man who was divorcing her. It made no sense, but nothing in their lives ever had. She was thirty-four years old, and she had finally grown up, it saddened her to realize that the woman she had brought to their marriage had been a frightened child. It had been unfair to both of them.
She had wanted him to make up for all the pain she'd had as a little girl. There was no way he could do that for her, and no way she could soothe his wounds, while she was crying out herself. They had been two children, frightened in the night, and all Joe had known how to do was run away. She loved him in spite of it, and the soul searching she had done had served her well."
"Joe arrived promptly at five o'clock, with his documents in hand.
